Grieve the “once was.” Grief is characterized by anger, denial, bargaining, depression and acceptance…not in a neat little sequence. You can’t check the boxes and be done with it. The sad reality is that you can experience all of these states cyclically, repeatedly and simultaneously. And remember, grieving is not the same as clinging…it is in service to making way for something new. The autumn trees show us how it’s done every year! I wonder what it feels like for trees to lose so much, to be so empty then simply to stand and wait for refilling? It sounds so simple, so easy. It isn’t easy. But it’s possible.
Be with “what is.” Really, what other option do you have? Pushing against “what is” is exhausting and, besides, that which we resist persists. Allow don’t resist. Allowing is not the same as condoning. Allowing yourself to experience what you are experiencing will better position you to choose how you want to respond. Keeping 80% of your attention on the “what is” that is going on within you, and only 20% on your perception of what is going on outside of you, you will be more grounded in the present moment and better able to access your wisdom.
Love the “not yet.” Life is not fixed or static; nothing stays the same. We don’t like that this is true when we are happy, and we grow impatient when the unpleasant seems to overstay its welcome. Life is dynamic and new life is constantly trying to emerge. Can you imagine that something new is trying to emerge even now? Think about babies…they need love from conception to birth and beyond to thrive. Expand your heart and engage your imagination. Draw your attention inward. What new life/new possibility is gestating in you? In your home? your communities? In our nation? the world? Allow a vision to emerge. Love the “not yet” into being.